Salvation
by kg1507
Summary: As he tries to forget Lois Lane after she disappeared in the Doomsday events, Clark shuts himself off from the world he once was a part of. But when she suddenly returns, he must decide whether to remain solely The Blur or succumb to his feelings.
1. Chapter 1

So, I wrote this over a year ago and I just finished it the other day after being stuck with writers block for so long. This takes place at the very end of Season 8, and was originally how I pictured the first few episodes of Season 9 before we had gotten any spoilers or news. Also, it is purely coincidental that this has the same name as the Season 9 finale. I wrote this before that ever came out, so I did not steal that title. I could probably change it, but I don't want to : P

Chapter 1

_1:33am - Metropolis_

The wind was fierce tonight. Gusts up to forty miles per hour had been predicted the last few days, but tonight was by far the worst yet. Anywhere else, people would have been hiding away in the comfort of their homes while the chilly night air left them unscathed, but not here. No, in Metropolis, it took a lot more than a little weather to keeps its citizens indoors. Unfortunately, it also meant that the crime never rested - and because of this, neither did Clark Kent.

No, not Clark Kent anymore… Kal-El. He did not associate himself with this human name and was no longer bound to human customs. He did not socialize with their race or seek out companionship, for he knew it would be all too easy to become attached again. He barely ate or slept anymore, consumed with his one purpose in life: to bring justice to this evil and sickening planet. He wouldn't even show himself in daylight unless it was absolutely necessary or when he desperately needed to recharge with the sun's enormous power. The only human he remained in contact with was Martha Kent, the woman who had raised him. He felt he owed her at least one conversation a week for keeping him from death, but many of his nights were spent wishing he'd never been found. Even though conversations were short and he knew his distance was hurting one of the few people who ever completely loved him, Clark could not bear to speak to anyone. His heart tugged painfully from the moment he picked up the phone from its cradle to the hours after her voice had faded away, when he would sit in his dark hovel of an apartment while he waited for the filth of the streets to emerge from the shadows, wallowing in self-loathing.

The wind was fierce tonight, but for Clark it was no matter. He heard much, much more than the wind.

Four million cars honking horns obnoxiously down the streets, running through puddles with splashes that sounded like ocean waves crashing on the shore, a hundred-thousand dogs barking, howling, whining and growling, television shows blasting their ridiculous theme songs in his eardrums, and then there were the sounds of the people - my God, the people.

Billions of words spoken every day - there wasn't one Clark hadn't heard by now. Millions of conversations echoing in his head, the sounds of laughter, crying, anger, excitement, fear, the screams, the passionate love-words whispered late at night, he could hear everything right down to the very breaths of each individual of Metropolis. But none of this mattered to him, because the only voice he ever wanted to hear again was hers. He only needed the sound of her laugh or the beating of her heart, just as long as he knew she was safe. As long as he knew she was safe, then he could let her go and forget humanity entirely. But for three months, he had yet to hear her utter a single syllable.

Day and night, he would keep one ear out for her, filtering through the less important and altogether meaningless chatter looking for that one voice. And whenever the crime had been taken care of for the day, he would come rest here - on the roof of the Daily Planet, and listen again. Being here was painful, but it made him feel closer to her even though she was farther away than he ever imagined a person could be. It was also one of the tallest buildings in the city and Clark had realized that the higher up he was, tge more enhanced his hearing became. He had spent much of his time intensely studying his abilities, pushing himself to his limits and then shattering them. Since that day, Clark could now shoot an entire inferno just by focusing on Jimmy's brutal death. He could lift a ten-ton boulder easily and throw it like a baseball when he thought of Chloe crying in his arms. And he could hear a pin drop a hundred miles away while he searched for Lois - a search he feared would never end.

Cutting himself off from humanity had done wonders for his powers, but it only turned him into cold hard stone that couldn't be touched by anything.

A sharp scream filled his ears and he turned his attention to the north. He focused like a living telescope, pin-pointing the exact location. In less than a second he had leaped from the roof and super-sped to the corner of eighteenth and nineteenth street six miles away from the Planet. It was a mugging, very common in this part of town. The guy was big and burly, wearing tattered clothes and a faded red beanie on top of greasy curls. He had a handbag slung across his shoulder while a woman lay not quite face-down on the asphalt, eyes wide open in fear. The criminal's foot was just inches away from kicking her in the face.

Clark thrust one arm out, knocking the guy into a brick wall just hard enough to knock him unconscious and then scooped the woman up in his strong arms, gently setting her down ten or so yards away from her attacker. He sped away into a dark alley not to far away to wait. The woman's eyes turned from fear to utter confusion when she saw the man completely passed out in front of her, but she didn't stick around to ask questions. Turning in the opposite direction, she ran a few blocks at full-speed, and only when Clark heard her hail for a cab and the sound of the door slam shut did he shift his focus. He sped back to the now-unconscious man, dropping a red and blue piece of paper between his coat and shirt:

_Consider yourself warned._

He only ever let the milder criminals get off with a warning. Why, he would never know. But he never saw any of their work again.

Once more, the Red-Blue Blur formally known as Clark Kent disappeared into the night, with only a trail of wind for company.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_3:15am - Metropolis_

Everyone he'd ever cared about had suffered because of him.

Clark lay on his lumpy mattress and stared at the cracked ceiling of his apartment. It was really more of a hole in the wall than a halfway decent place to live, but rent was cheap and his landlord never bothered him as long as Clark dropped off the monthly fee. The less people he had to interact with, the better. The place obviously needed a lot of TLC, but unfortunately its occupant had none to give. The pale-gray carpet that may have once been white was faded and worn out, questionable stains spotting it everywhere. The walls had never been painted and large cracks had started to travel the length of them like spindly spider legs. An old miniature refrigerator sat in one corner of the room, whirring noisily. In the other corner was a small dresser which was missing the bottom drawer. A door to the right led to the tiny bathroom that was just big enough to hold a sink, toilet, and a small shower that Clark could barely turn around in. The only thing he really needed in this hell-hole was the little black police scanner plugged next to his bed. It was never turned off.

Clark was sinking in his depression again. He could feel the shadows coming on as he waited for the worst of the pain. There were no good days or bad days for him anymore, there was only worse and worse. Nighttime was when it became unbearable, when he was alone in his room with nothing to do, nothing to occupy himself with when the streets finally went silent.

Everything was his fault.

Something wet touched the palm of his hand, but Clark didn't stir. He knew Shelby wanted attention, but his muscles felt like lead in his body. Shelby whined and licked his master's hand again. Clark hadn't been able to find it in himself to get rid of his dog, and was grateful that he hadn't. The warmth of someone else, even if it was just an animal, made the ache in his chest subside if only for a moment. Shelby jumped on the bed with Clark and lay down next to him with another whine, pushing his hand with his muzzle. Clark gazed at the dog, seeing sadness even there, and he knew just how Shelby felt. Clark began to gently pet the dog's head and Shelby closed his eyes with content - and Clark felt a sudden wave of intense depression wash over him as he tried to remember the last time someone had touched him with compassion and love. Tears fell soundlessly from his deep blue eyes and were lost in the dirty sheets of his bed. He felt the familiar pull of loneliness deep in his soul, plunging into him like a thousand Kryptonite knives, but Clark didn't move an inch. He had made his choice, and he knew it was the only way to stop causing harm in others' lives. He would never go back, no matter how terrible the pain in his heart was.

_Everything was my fault._

-

_**Chaos, chaos everywhere. Fire burned, a raging inferno. Thunder, lightning, flashes of color, a high-pitched scream in the darkness. Hundreds lying dead beneath his feet. Bones crunching with each step he took. People running in all directions, terrified. A horrible smell… death.**_  
_**He looked up and was face to face with him. Doomsday.  
**_  
_**Davis.  
**_  
_**Monster.  
**_  
_**Ripping limbs from his victims, blood pouring from the sky like rain. He'd been seen. Tried to run, wasn't fast enough. His body thrown against the crumbled remains of a building. The Daily Planet.  
**_  
_**Lois. Her tears were silver, her face white. So much sadness, so much pain. So many tears.  
**_  
_**A flash of purple light, brighter than the sun. She waved her hand in farewell, then, nothing.  
**_  
_**Blank.  
**_  
_**Falling…**_

"No!" Clark jolted upright, nearly scaring poor Shelby half to death. Clark breathed heavily. It felt like there wasn't enough air in the room. He put a hand to his forehead and found that he was dripping with cold sweat. He stared at the moisture, perplexed and frightened. He jumped out of bed and glanced at his clock. Four a.m.

He flipped the bathroom light on and filled a cup to the brim with lukewarm water, downing it immediately and then filled it back up two more times. His heart was still pounding. Clark looked in the mirror as he leaned heavily over the sink. The face staring back didn't even look like him anymore. His cheeks had sunken in, dark shadows underneath his eyes, stubble growing on his chin even though he'd never had to shave a day in his life. His eyes looked like death, gray and empty and streaked with tiny red veins.

_What's happening to me?_ Clark thought. He splashed some water onto his face and rubbed hard, as if he could scrub away this mask that haunted him. He'd had this dream before - bits and pieces that always made him sleep fitfully, but never before had it been this vivid, like it was happening right in front of his eyes. And all of that purple light… he'd only seen a light like that once before, when -

Clark froze, and he was sure his heart had stopped beating.

No.

Less than a second later, he was in the Planet. He began ripping open the drawers of his untouched desk, throwing folders of papers and various office supplies well across the room in a frenzy.

"Where is it?" Clark whispered hoarsely, the sound of his own voice foreign to him. He tore the drawers out of the desk one by one and shook its contents onto the floor.

"WHERE IS IT?" Clark roared, flipping the desk over with a loud crash. He was just about to rip apart the next desk when his eyes suddenly fell on what he had been seeking. The box. Someone must have kicked it under his desk when…

Clark grabbed the little box, ripped off the lid, and immediately fell to the ground on his knees. The ring was gone. It all made sense now: why Clark hadn't been able to hear her anywhere in the city, why the police hadn't come across a trace of her. This was why. Lois Lane wasn't in Metropolis. She wasn't even in this time period. Lois had been sent to the future by accident.

And Clark might as well as sent her there himself.

"No…" His voice rasped. "No, no, no…" He cried in anguish. "NO!" Fresh tears streamed down his face as he continued to scream, and then in a flash pf blurred color, he disappeared.


	3. Chapter 3

_She never saw it coming._

_Her body felt like it was being sucked through a straw. Millions of colors she'd never seen before flashed across her eyes, moving so quickly that she could hardly distinguish one from another. Her vision was extremely blurry, everything was happening so fast that she thought her head would explode. She felt like she was free falling, faster and faster until finally…_

_She hit something hard that nearly broke her arm. She didn't even have time to scream in pain - yellow and white light obscured her vision before she'd even had a chance to make sense out of what had just happened. A sharp and nerve-blasting pain filled her body, hurting her like nothing ever had._

_And then there was darkness._

-

Her whole body hurt. It was a sore kind of pain - the kind you get when you've run for ten miles after only training for one. Her hand twitched every now and then; she knew this even though she was still in the world between sleep and awake. Subconsciously she wondered how long she'd be in the hospital this time. She hoped the food was at least somewhat decent. It was then that she heard muffled noises fill her ears as she slowly woke from her deep sleep.

"…could've killed her… never knew someone could be so reckless…"

"Rokk, I've been groveling for days. How many more times do you want me to say "I'm sorry?""

"Damn it, Garth! You don't understand! If she doesn't live, do you have any idea what that means for us here?"

She wished he wouldn't yell. She was starting to get one wicked migraine.

"Rokk, I know what the consequences are. I know I should've been more cautious, but… how was I supposed to know that he was sending _the_ Lois Lane instead of Doomsday?"

"Don't be an idiot, he didn't send her purposely. This is all one big accident - one that could cost us our very existences."

"You always have to be negative, don't you? How do you know she isn't going to make it?"

"Oh, I don't know, Garth. How much electricity did you shoot into her body?" He said sarcastically.

A female's voice spoke next. "I don't mean to interrupt the lovers spat, but I think she's starting to wake up."

It took a few more moments, but finally Lois was able to open her eyes. When the bright glare of light faded from her vision, three faces were staring not more than a foot away from her own.

"Geez, you guys ever heard of personal space?" Lois said in a croaky voice. All three of them sighed in relief.

"How do you feel?" The woman asked gently.

Lois winced and groaned as she shifted on her bed and tried to sit up without hurting herself. "Like I've been run over by a train."

The smaller blonde guy leaned over to his shouting buddy. "Rokk, what's a train?" He whispered.

The woman spoke again. "Are you experiencing any uncommon jolts of pain or lightheadedness?"

"No," Lois said. "Just a few twitches every now and then. And I'm really sore. And… really confused. What the hell happened to me?"

"Don't worry, your symptoms are completely normal." She turned to look at the other two. "I think she's going to be fine." She faced Lois again as a distinct voice muttered in the background, "Told you so…"

"My name is Imra."

"Lois." She said with a nod. She glanced around the small room and took in her surroundings. This was not the Metropolis or Smallvillw hospital - it was unfamiliar to her. If anyone knew what the inside of those hospitals looked like, it was Lois Lane. She'd certainly been in them often enough. "Where am I?" She asked.

The woman named Imra shot a nervous look at Rokk. "Lois… what exactly do you remember before waking up?"

Lois tried to think. "Not a lot… I was kicking the hell out of my boss, and then there was a lot of… purple light." She glanced up at Imra. "I've never seen anything like it before."

The three visitors were silent.

"Please, where am I? This doesn't look anything like the Metropolis hospital." Lois asked.

Imra seemed to be trying to choose her words carefully. "Lois… you're -"

"In Metropolis, of course." Rokk interrupted in a sharp voice. "Your fall roughed you up a little, but most of the damage has been taken care of. You should be good as new in a few days."

"I fell?" Lois asked. She thought hard, trying to remember the details. "How?"

Rokk froze. "That… that doesn't matter." He said quickly.

Suddenly, the smaller blonde boy could no longer contain himself. He quickly walked to her bedside and took her hand in both of his, shaking it with fervor. "Hi, I'm Garth. You don't know what an honor it is to meet you!"

Lois stared at him with a perplexed expression while Imra frowned disapprovingly. "Um… it's nice to meet you too… Garth?"

The boy's expression brightened even more, as if hearing her say his name out loud excited him. Rokk grabbed Garth's shoulder and roughly pulled him back behind him with a scowl.

"So… I'm in the hospital. How long am I going to be here?" Lois asked.

"We…" Imra started. "We aren't sure yet." Rokk looked very restless.

"Are all three of you my doctors?" Lois asked. When none of them answered, Lois's face twisted in confusion. "If you're not my doctors, then who are you and why are you taking care of me? When can I see Chloe? Has she been here yet? Does she even know what's going on? What about Clark?"

As soon as his name left her lips, all three of them became extremely agitated and tense. Imra stood quickly from her seat and began to fidget with her hands. "Lois, you really should get some more rest now that we know you're stable. Please stay in bed until we come see you again. I promise… everything is going to be ok." With that they left quickly, shutting the door behind them and leaving Lois very confused and unnaturally lonely. With a sigh, she closed her eyes and let her body relax as she fell back to sleep almost instantly.

-

"Rokk, what are we going to do?" Garth asked. The three Legion members sat in identical black rounded leather chairs all facing one another in a gigantic room that held practically every kind of technology known to man. Two parallel walls held dozens of small screens that showed different areas of the city every few minutes, and one wall held a screen that stretched from the floor to the ceiling. A few yards away was a motherboard that curved into a giant sideways "C." Rokk sat with his forehead resting in the palm of his hand, trying to think of a way to fix this colossal mistake. Now that he was sure Lois Lane would survive, he could let that particular worry go. But there was a whole plethora of new problems to worry about. He closed his eyes and let out a long breath of air. This was the very last thing he had expected when he'd given Kal-El the time travel ring. He had spent weeks preparing the entire Legion for their battle with Doomsday. They had been ready. But instead of a monster, they received someone much more problematic: the woman who would one day play an enormous part in molding the average Clark Kent into the incredible and powerful Superman. Kal-El did not know this yet, nor did Lois Lane. From what he understood, this Lois Lane still had no clue that Kal-El was not who he said he was. He had to make sure that she didn't find out, or everything could be ruined.

"Rokk?" Imra said tentatively. "Maybe this isn't as complicated as you're making it out to be. Did you ever stop to think that… maybe this is fate? That maybe this was supposed to happen?"

"What are you talking about?" Rokk said, still holding his head in his hand.

"Well…" Imra hesitated. "Maybe… maybe Lois Lane should learn her future now."

Rokk stood up so fast that both Garth and Imra flinched. His face was livid with anger. "Are you insane?" He shouted. "You're suggesting that we tell her everything? Who we are, where she is, who _she _is?"

"Well, why not?" Imra asked, standing to her feet as well. "Why should we keep the truth from her?"

"WHY?" Rokk began to pace, and then held up a finger to point at her. "You want to know why? Because it's safer! Have you even thought about what would happen if somehow, she learned that she had a much bigger role to play in life than your average reporter? Or what would happen if she learned that she would become one of the greatest influences on Kal-El in his destiny? Or how do you think she'd react if she found out she was in the year 3131 right at this moment? You can't tell me that you think she'd be calm about it. No, Imra. Lois Lane cannot know anything that has happened or will happen. It's just not safe."

"Safer for her, or safer for you?" Imra shot back. "She has a right to know! This is _her _life we're talking about, not yours! The space-time continuum has already been changed. We can't do anything about that. But what if because Lois Lane arrived instead of Doomsday, it means that we are supposed to inform her of her own destiny? What if fate has turned around and we have a new purpose to fulfill?"

"Kal-El interrupted the way our world was supposed to be once before. He failed to dispose of Chloe Sullivan and look where that's gotten us. If he had only done what was necessary…"

"He never would have complied, Rokk, and you know it." Imra said. She took a few steps forward. "Come on, think about it. If we send Lois Lane back fully informed, she could change everything. Clark Kent could become the man of tomorrow much sooner than he would if we did nothing. Millions of lives could be saved."

"Imra…"

"Rokk, please. I don't know how, but I know that this is what we need to do." Imra pleaded.

Rokk thought for a moment, and then shook his head with renewed fervor. "No. No, absolutely not. Imra, I forbid you to tell her anything. I won't risk it. Do you understand?"

Imra's face fell, defeated. "Yes." She said stiffly.

"Good. I'll be back later - I want to talk to the other Legion members and see if they have any suggestions." Without another look at either her or Garth, Rokk pushed open a door and left.

Imra stood still for a moment longer. She knew Rokk was their leader, and disobeying him would be disastrous, but she couldn't shake the feeling that Rokk was wrong. Garth stood up and lightly placed his hand on her shoulder.

"If it helps… I think you're right." He said. "She should know."

Imra did not respond.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_2:00p.m - Metropolis_

Clark hadn't left his apartment in days. He was too distraught to patrol the streets of Metropolis, his mind too full of the realization he had come upon concerning Lois's sudden disappearance. It was all he had thought of for four days. He couldn't believe he had been so stupid not to figure it out earlier. How could he have forgotten about the ring?

Clark was lying on his stomach on the small bed of his room, Shelby stationed loyally at the foot of the bed. He looked almost as sad as his master. Clark hadn't slept in all this time, and although he didn't require the same amount of rest that humans did, he still needed _some_ to function. However, the complete lack of sunlight, which was the source for all of his energy, had taken the hardest hit on his system. He felt like his internal battery was nearly dead. For the first time in his life, Clark Kent was feeling the effects of real fatigue.

He knew he should care more about his fading body, but Clark couldn't stop thinking about Lois and where she could possibly have ended up. Rokk had said the ring would take Doomsday to the future where he and the Legion would be waiting for him. If what he'd said was true though, then why hadn't they sent her back immediately? He couldn't imagine why the Legion would choose not to send Lois back to her own time. Unless… maybe something had happened that was preventing Lois from returning to the present. Maybe she was stuck there. But if she was stuck, why hadn't Rokk showed up to tell Clark that? Or maybe time travel was impossible for anyone right now, some kind of glitch that had yet to be worked out. Or maybe the ring had been damaged, or Rokk had been mistaken and Lois hadn't been sent to the Legion at all, but to a completely different time far beyond the 31st century. She could be wandering through years past or years yet to come, terrified and confused, never knowing that she would never see Metropolis again.

And Clark would never see her lovely brown eyes, the way her mouth curved into a smirk and parted her lips in a smile. He would never be on the receiving end of one of her sarcastic comments, or hear her call him 'Smallville' ever again.

A sudden sickness came over him and for a moment he thought he was about to vomit. The sensation in his stomach scared him and he found it difficult to breathe, as if someone was squeezing his lungs with both hands while he tried to inhale. Clark had never felt so helpless. He had no way to contact the Legion to find out what had happened and no way to follow the path Lois had taken to track her down. The only shred of hope he had left was that maybe Rokk would return to Clark's time soon with answers. While he clung to it like a lifeline, he knew the possibility was slim.

Clark felt suddenly restless and could not lie still for another minute. He pushed himself into a sitting position and stood up unsteadily. His head began to pound and he clutched it in a desperate attempt to stop the pain. He stumbled to the tiny window of his apartment and pulled the shades up. Rays of sunlight shone weakly through the dirty glass, and although it was hardly enough to give him his strength back, it replenished his body enough to make his headache subside slightly.

_I need more._ Clark thought. He pulled on a light t-shirt over his bare chest and ran a hand through his messy hair a few times before opening the door and leaving his room.

It was a beautiful, cloudless day. The sun shone brightly as life outside these dark walls went on, and Clark felt strangely self-conscious as he took his first few steps out of the shadows. He hadn't been around people in broad daylight for so long. As soon as he stepped into the light though, he felt a jolt of energy surge through him like electricity. He sighed softly with relief. It felt so good. He turned right and began to walk, not really caring about where he was going, just as long as he wasn't on that damn bed. Without thinking, he began to tune out the everyday noises in search for that one particular voice - and then felt his heart crash into his stomach. He wouldn't find her this way anymore.

He began to feel sick again, but desperately tried to force it back. He would not let this destroy him. These were the very emotions he needed to unlearn in order to be the hero he was meant to be. And he would do it, no matter how much it hurt.

Clark walked the streets for miles, soaking in the sunlight like a sponge. With each minute he spent outside, he could feel a little more of his strength returning to him. He walked blindly, lost in thought as he allowed his feet to take him where they pleased. It had been so long since he'd allowed himself to be among the very people he spent all his time protecting that he had started to forget what it was like. As the sun strengthened his body, his heart grew less heavy and he felt more at home than he ever had in that dingy little hovel.

Clark was just contemplating a hot dog from a nearby stand when he saw a familiar blonde head bobbing up and down fifty or so yards ahead of him. He froze in his step, causing a man in an expensive-looking suit to collide into his firm back. He grumbled and sneered as he passed around him, but Clark did not see any of this. He was too focused on the woman coming his way. She hadn't seen him yet, but if he didn't act now then she surely would.

Clark ducked into an alley across the street and hid himself behind a dark blue dumpster, peeking around it silently as he waited for her to pass. His heart was pounding in his throat. She passed the space between the two narrow buildings and Clark knew it was her.

_Chloe.  
_  
He sprang from behind his hiding place and re-entered the street as he found her blonde-haired head again in front of him. Without thinking, he began to follow her. He was careful to stay far enough behind so that she couldn't pick his face out from the crowd, but close enough to keep her head in his view. He followed her for one block, then two, then four, knowing that this was wrong and knowing he should turn back now and let this part of his old life go, but he just couldn't turn away without knowing how Chloe was doing.

She finally turned towards a particular building and entered, Clark hurrying after her. He wished he had the cover of night to shield him somewhat. Across the street was a little diner that faced the building Chloe had just gone into, and it was here that Clark slid into a small table and turned towards the window. He now had enough strength back to see past the brick walls into the room where he soon found Chloe seated on a comfortable-looking couch with a young woman you sat across from her. Clark took a closer look. Chloe had gotten thinner, her cheekbones prominent through her face. Her normally bright eyes looked duller than usual and were filled with tears. She sat very unlike the Chloe he knew, sort of hunched over and dejected. He focused his hearing on the conversation that had started.

"How has the Prozac been working for you lately?" The woman asked.

"It's not." Chloe said in a croaky voice. "I think I need more."

"You're already at a dose that is highly above average." The woman said gently. "I'm not sure we should increase again quite yet."

"Carol, I don't know how much longer I can take this." Chloe said as the first tear slid down her cheeks. "The medicine doesn't take the pain away. It doesn't make me forget about my murdered husband, it doesn't help me stop worrying about my missing cousin, and it won't make me stop missing my best friend." She sobbed quietly, reaching for a tissue.

"Medicine isn't supposed to block emotions," Carol said. "It's meant to help stabilize them."

Chloe continued to cry. "I just… I have nothing in my life worth living for. The man I loved is dead, my cousin is most likely dead, and Clark… Clark is gone." More tears left her red-rimmed eyes. "I'm just so unbearably lonely, and I can't make it go away. I would give anything to be able to forget."

Clark stopped listening and looked away, feeling, if possible, even more guilty for the pain he continued to bring to Chloe's life even when he was no longer in it. He could hear her words echo in his head: _I would give anything to be able to forget.  
_  
He would give anything to forget too.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Lois could not stand another day in this damn hospital bed. She'd been resting for a week, doing nothing but sleeping and eating the meals left for her whenever she woke up, and then feeling strangely exhausted again soon after. She couldn't understand why she was always falling asleep after eating such delicious energy-giving meals. Hot pancakes and blueberry muffins for breakfast, roast turkey and swiss sandwiches for lunch, and grilled chicken with corn on the cob and a baked potato for dinner were just a few things she'd devoured so far. She still didn't believe she was in Metropolis General, but she wasn't about to complain if the food was this good. Despite that, Lois was growing extremely bored and increasingly lonelier every day she didn't get a visit from Chloe or Clark. She'd managed to get Doctor Rokk to tell her that they hadn't been able to contact either of them, which Lois wasn't too sure if she believed or not. They had to be wondering where she was, right?

Imra entered the room, holding a cup of steaming coffee in her hands. It smelled incredible. "I thought you could use a caffeine boost." Imra said. She hated having to drug Lois's food with powerful sleeping substances, but Rokk insisted that it was the only way to keep her from leaving her room and wandering to places in headquarters that she could never see. Imra knew Rokk wasn't being paranoid - it was the exact kind of thing Lois Lane would do. Rokk was working on a new time-travel ring that would send her back to Kal-El's time period. It would be ready very soon.

"Thanks." Lois said gratefully as she took the drink. "You're the only doctor who's ever encouraged my java addiction."

Imra smiled and watched her sip the coffee. She still couldn't believe that she was having daily interaction with _the _Lois Lane, one of the most well-known and highly esteemed women of human-kind. There were entire books written about her whole life from childhood to her days in Smallville where she had met Clark Kent, the man who would be known by every man, woman, and child for centuries to come. Her name was just as well known as his. People would've killed to have the chance to talk to Lois Lane, even if it was such a young version of her.

"Lois, I know you must be terribly bored here," Imra began. "And I truly am sorry that I can't let you leave your room, but I thought… well, that maybe we could talk for a while? I would very much like to get to know you better." She said with a little smile.

Lois nodded. "I _have _been lonely. I thought Chloe would have visited by now…"

"Tell me about her. What's she like?" Imra asked, taking a seat next to Lois's bed.

"Well, she's incredibly smart. Amazing with a computer - I swear the woman could hack into just about every one. And she's very good at getting into trouble." Lois chuckled. "I think I may have rubbed off on her a little."

Imra smiled. The situations Lois Lane had gotten herself into were well-known to say the least.

"I love her to death." Lois continued. "She's more like a sister to me than a cousin. In fact, she's more of a sister to me than my own sister." A moment of silence passed before Imra spoke again.

"So, Lois, what… uh, what do you do?"

Lois smiled. "I'm the best damn reporter the Daily Planet has ever seen. Or, well, I will be. I'm working on that particular title at the moment, unless Clark ends up beating me to it -"

"Clark?" Imra asked, trying to contain her excitement. She'd been hoping this subject would come up. "Who's Clark?" As if she didn't already know. It was hard to keep herself composed and not let on that she actually knew more about Clark Kent than Lois coul imagine. Imra noticed at once the faraway look that appeared in Lois's eyes and the slow smile that crept up her cheeks.

"He's, uh…" Lois cleared her throat. "He's a guy that I work with. He's known Chloe ever since they were kids and I've known him for a few years now. He's usually the one who ends up getting us out of the jams we set ourselves up for." She chuckled again. "He um… he's pretty amazing, to be honest, and I don't usually dish out high-praise compliments like that. He may be annoying and thick-headed and he has this irritating way of always knowing the right thing to do, but he's still… I don't know, different from any guy I've ever met before." She smiled a little wider and her cheeks tinged pink at some memory Imra was not going to mind-read. Some things should be kept private.

"Lois," Imra said gently. "Does Clark know how you feel? How you really feel?"

Lois began to look uncomfortable. "I don't even know how I feel." She said. "I've had feelings like these before, but it's different somehow. I don't know what to make of it sometimes. It's like… he makes everything I feel so much more intense and exciting. But he's so hard to read. Sometimes I see something different in his eyes when he looks at me, but then it's gone and I can't help but wonder if I imagined it." Lois cast her eyes down with embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I'm rambling on about nothing."

"No, it's not nothing." Imra said. "Lois, don't give up on him. Don't let those feelings burn out."

"I don't think they can now." Lois said softly.

The door opened and Garth's head appeared in the doorway. "Imra, Rokk wants to see you. Oh, and lunch is ready, Miss. Lane." He said as he brought in a tray bearing a small personal pizza and chips.

"Garth, how many times have I told you to call me Lois?" Lois said with a grin. "And I hope there's sausage on that pizza."

"Just the way you like it… Lois." Garth smiled.

Imra gave Lois another smile and touched the back of her hand. "Promise me you'll think about what I said?"

Lois nodded. "I will. Thank you, Imra."

As Garth and Imra left, Lois sighed softly and closed her eyes. She hadn't been entirely truthful with Imra. She knew how she felt about Clark, how those long-ago feelings of annoyance had bloomed into feelings of admiration, and how his friendship had somehow become one of the most important things in her life when just a few years ago she could barely tolerate him. How his smile made her stomach flip and his touch sent shivers down her spine. How one look could make her forget about anyone else in the room but him.

She was falling for him, fast, and she knew nothing could stop this downward spiral now.

* * *

"You wanted to see me?" Imra asked, announcing herself. Rokk turned to face her and nodded. "Well?"

He held up something in his hand and it wasn't until Imra had taken a few steps that she realized it was a silver glove. "What's this?" She asked.

"This is the answer to all our problems." Rokk said. "I've been contacting every major inventor around the globe trying to find something like this, and I finally got a reply early this morning." He held up the glove, which looked very peculiar indeed. It looked like it had been made from some sort of metal, however, it was as flexible as if it were made from the lightest cloth. Rokk held it out to her. "Put it on."

Imra slipped it onto her right hand and the glove instantly reshaped itself to fit perfectly. "When used, the wearer of this glove can sift through another's past and remove whatever memories they wish. It was designed to attack our enemies' minds, removing their knowledge of important information about us that would have catastrophic consequences if discovered. It erases the memory completely. I want you to use it on Lois Lane. Make her forget everything about these last two weeks. The ring is ready. She can leave immediately."

Imra was shocked. She stared at her hand as if it were a deadly germ. "Rokk… you can't be serious."

"I am." He said. "I was told that this is just a prototype, the first model of it's kind. It was not developed for everyone to just slip on and use. You are the only one who has the powers compatible with this device."

Imra continued to stare at the glove, loathingly. "To take away a person's memories… it seems so cruel."

"Imra, you will do this." Rokk said. It was not a request. "She doesn't belong here. She has to go back, and she must go back without knowing what her future holds for her, or Kal-El. She must stay uninformed. Please understand that."

Imra hesitated. She seemed to be deciding whether to retaliate or not. She met Rokk's hard eyes with an icy stare. "I hope you sleep well, knowing that millions of people will die and yet you did nothing to try and stop it." Silence met them, and Imra turned to leave.

"I'll do it in an hour, once the drugs have soaked into her bloodstream and she is unconscious."

* * *

Lois was in a deep sleep, her dreams filled with visions that made her feel drunk with contentedness. She was in her mother's arms, as tiny as a baby, gazing at the beautiful smiling face looking down at her. She heard Chloe's laugh echo all around her and her smile dazzled in the warm sun. And then she was dancing, her arms wrapped around Clark's neck, her cheek pressed against his chest. Her eyes closed and the room spun. He held her like he never wanted to let go.

Imra quietly closed the door behind her and turned a small light on, creating just enough of a glow for her to discern Lois's shape among the darkness. She was out cold. Imra took the seat next to her bedside and was quiet, listening to Lois's soft breathing.

"You are going to do great things." Imra whispered. "Your name will be remembered centuries after you leave this Earth. Your love for Kal-El will rival all other love stories. His love for you cannot compare, for you are the woman incomparable to anyone else in his life. Neither of you will ever love someone the way you love each other. You are responsible for molding Kal-El into the man he was meant to become. And they will call him…" Imra's voice dropped to a barely audible sound.

"Superman."

A full second passed before Lois's mouth fell open slightly and a faint snore broke the silence. Imra grinned despite herself.

"Although, it'll be much more exciting when you experience these things for yourself." She gently slipped the glove on, feeling it adjust as needed, and slowly moved her hand forward until it hovered over Lois's forehead. Imra shut her eyes and concentrated. Rokk had said it would not take long.

The fingertips of the glove began to glow bright red and Imra's hand twitched slightly. Then, without warning, she was inside.

_A small little girl was running around a dandelion-filled field, chasing a tall woman who was the spitting image of her._

_A birthday party, where the same little girl proudly held up a G.I. Joe with cake smeared on her cheeks._

_A tombstone._

_A father giving harsh orders._

_A twelve-year old girl crying under the covers, pent-up emotion finally allowed to be released._

_A cornfield, a man unconcious and stark-naked lying before her._

_The image of a woman with long, raven-colored hair - jealousy attached to the memory._

_Dancing with him, her heart beating faster and faster as his lips were just about to touch hers._

_Bliss._

Imra shifted through the memories like pages in a book, trying not to feel guilty for seeing such personal moments. It took little time for her to find the memories she was searching for, and she pulled them out of existence one by one. When she was through, Imra opened her eyes and the connection broke. Reaching into a small pouch, she pulled out a Legion time-travel ring. Rokk had designed this one specifically for a one-time use. It would disappear when Lois returned.

Imra slipped the ring onto Lois's finger. The room glowed with intense purple light, and then she was gone.

* * *

Clark stood on the Daily Planet roof once more, surveying the city with little interest. It was a quiet night, and he had nothing to do. He knew he wasn't focusing hard enough if he couldn't hear any crime in any part of the city, and felt guilty for it. His mind was elsewhere, drifting to thoughts of Chloe and all that he'd seen and heard that day. He wondered how long she'd been seeing a psychologist and how high her dosage actually was. Eventually those thoughts led to other questions. What did she do with her time now? How was she making money and paying bills? Who was checking in on her to make sure she was ok? More guilt flooded Clark and he laid his head in his hands with grief. He'd never meant for this to happen. It seemed like for every person he'd ever tried to help, someone else had to suffer in their place. At that moment, he wished for nothing more than the ability to jump from the top of this building and fall to his death.

Just like a human.

He didn't realize it at first, but his super-hearing had picked up the faint sound of a heartbeat. It grew louder and louder in his head until it was all Clark could hear as he finally locked his focus onto the source. His own heart began to beat in time with the other, and then Clark realized with a startle that this wasn't just any heartbeat. It was hers.

Like a gunshot, he burst into the main newsroom of the Planet and was half-wild with the hope that had bubbled up inside him. He frantically scanned the room, and his heart skipped when his eyes found her. She was lying on her stomach with her arms stretched in front of her, and she was unconscious. Clark rushed to her side, fearing the worst.

"Lois?" He knelt to the ground and gently touched her cheek. The warmth that filled him was like a life-giving fire, and he'd never felt stronger. He x-rayed her body, but couldn't find any broken bones or internal bleeding, and she didn't have a concussion. His first thought was to take her to the hospital, but he quickly dismissed that idea. He didn't want to share her with anyone right now until he was absolutely sure she needed medical assistance. From what he could tell, she looked like she was just in a very deep sleep. Believing it was safe to move her, Clark gently scooped her lithe body into his arms and cradled her close. She remained limp, but her head turned to press into his chest. Clark sped off, his feet hardly touching the ground and his heart lighter than it had felt in almost three and a half months.

Out of the shadows, Imra watched Kal-El's red and blue blur streak into the night and smiled. "Goodbye, Lois Lane. It has been an honor."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_10:47 p.m. - Metropolis_

Clark carefully lowered Lois's still body onto his bed as if he were handling fragile glass. He was so afraid to break her now that he'd finally found her after all this time. Feeling paranoid, Clark x-rayed her body once again for good measure, finding nothing. He hesitated, and then turned her hand over to feel the pulse in her wrist. His super-hearing tuned in to the steady beat of her heart, and Clark felt an instant peace come over him. God, it was good to hear that sound again. He slowly traced her vein with two fingers, never fully appreciating the touch of another until now. He lifted his hand abruptly; her skin was ice cold. He pulled the unmade covers of the bed up to her chin and tucked the folds underneath her, creating a snug cocoon. The sheets were thin though, and Clark wished he had something else to help warm her.

"Lois…" Clark whispered. She did not stir. He watched the rise and fall of her chest, feeling very helpless. He studied every inch of her face, all the little details of her appearance coming back to him; that certain laugh line near the corner of her mouth, the way her chin twitched when she was angry, her brown eyes like melted chocolate staring down whoever got in her way - God, he wanted to see those eyes again.

Clark felt a terrible shock run through him. He hand was hovering inches away from her cheek, his palm curved into the exact shape where she would fit perfectly. He quickly stood up and backed away from the bed, stopping only when he touched the wall and slid down to the floor to sit. The closer he was to her, the more he wanted to touch her, hold her, feel her body against his, and he could not allow these feelings to continue. No. He would stay strong. He was Kal-El now.

An hour passed, then two, and Clark waited. Every second that passed was harder for him to remain where he sat. He wanted nothing more than to go to her, to feel her skin again, to just look at her. He knew he had to fight against himself, against these weak human emotions that kept him from his destiny. He just didn't know how hard it would be to be away from her… and that scared him.

Finally around two in the morning, Clark felt the change in her breathing and was immediately alert. She turned slowly onto her stomach and moaned, sending chills down his spine. He quickly went to her despite all the reasons why he knew he shouldn't and knelt beside the bed. "Lois? Lois, wake up." He said softly.

Lois's eyes slowly opened, blinked, and then a cloud of confusion passed over them. "Clark? What the h- where am I? What happened to Tess? Why are you -" She sat upright and began to breathe heavily, fear coursing through her body. She didn't remember how she got here. She didn't remember anything… she had been fighting Tess, and then… nothing.

Clark took her hands in his. "Lois, it's ok. Everything is going to be ok. You're safe." When her breathing became more relaxed, she made eye contact with him for the first time and Clark felt his mouth go dry. Lois glanced around the small room, and then brought her gaze back to Clark.

"Where are we?"

"My apartment." Clark answered.

"And how did we get here?"

"I found you at the Planet."

"Did you see Tess?" Lois asked.

"Tess? No."

Lois's face screwed up in confusion. "But… but I -"

"Lois," Clark said slowly. "You've been missing for almost three months."

Lois shook her head in disbelief. "Missing? But… but I feel like I never left. I swear, one minute I was at the Planet and the next I'm sitting in your bed waking up from what would've been a really nice nap." She finished snappily.

Clark felt the corners of his mouth rise, and he realized it was the first time he'd smiled in months. His cheeks felt oddly stretched, like rubber being pulled too far. He felt a strange lightness in his stomach that he couldn't suppress.

"Clark," Lois said, fear evident in her eyes. "How long did you say I was gone?"

Clark felt his grin slide down his face. "Three months."

Lois nodded. "And no one came looking for me." It was more of a question than a statement as she looked at Clark with a shred of hope left in her.

Clark paused before reaching for her hand, completely forgetting himself. It was just Lois now. "_I_ looked for you." He said in a clear, tender voice.

Lois felt her body respond to his touch and her heart leaped in her chest at the confession. She looked down at their joined hands and her eyes floated up towards his face. She moved a fraction of an inch closer to him, and then he stood up.

"I know you have a lot of questions, but I can't answer them." Clark said in a much firmer tone. "I wish I could." He muttered quietly. As their eyes met again, Clark felt such a powerful wave of emotion wash over him that he literally lost his breath for a moment. She was so lost and confused, so vulnerable and… so beautiful. At that moment, Clark came to the painful realization of what he must now do - the final severing of the link to his humanity.

"I need to take you to Chloe." Clark said softly. "She needs you."

Lois perked at the mention of her cousin. "Oh my God, she must be frantic. I can't even imagine… Clark, is she ok?"

Clark looked at her, saw the desperation in her eyes, and shook his head. "No." A second of silence passed before Clark opened the door to his apartment to leave. "We need to get you to her now."

They walked in silence for fifteen blocks. Clark had wanted to take a late bus, but Lois refused, insisting she was in a fit condition to walk. Rather than fight, Clark succumbed to her request and did not say another word the entire way, much to Lois's confusion. Something was very different about him. He looked so much older, and his eyes held almost no emotion at all. Every few minutes she would glance out of the corner of her eye to look at him, searching for a remnant of the Clark she remembered only to be disappointed when she couldn't. The silence they shared was not awkward, a first for Lois. Instead, she felt as if she should be waiting for something. She felt like she was supposed to be listening to his unspoken words.

Clark barely saw the world around him as he walked. He was overcome with the urge to take her hand, pull her to him, feel her touch on his skin. He ached inside, knowing what he had to do and hating it with every fiber of his being. There was so much he wanted to say to her, so much he wanted her to know, and now he knew she never could. He tried to walk slowly, keeping her next to him for as long as possible. At least he would always have this night. At least he would always know that she was safe now.

Forty minutes passed, and as they turned one last corner Clark felt a jolt of pain spread to the pit of his stomach, seeing Chloe's home looming before them. It was now nearly three in the morning, when night is at its quietest. X-raying the building, Clark saw Chloe lying awake in an armchair, reading a book and sipping what looked like hot tea from a small mug. Her eyes were puffy.

Lois walked up the few steps to the front door, turning back to face Clark. He was not looking at her. She paused, feeling a strange sense of dread come over her.

"Hey, Clark…" She took a step down and reached for his arm. "What's going on with you? Something… something's changed." She searched his downcast face, her eyes filled with worry. "You're not yourself."

"No, I'm not." He said softly. He tore his gaze from the ground and met her eyes. "Lois…I've done terrible things in the past, things that I can't change… things that have hurt those I care about." He paused, gently removing her hand from his arm. "And I made a promise to myself to never hurt anyone again."

Lois felt her heartbeat increase. "Clark, what are you saying?" She asked.

Clark swallowed the painful lump in his throat that was constantly growing larger. "Lois… this is goodbye."

Lois's eyes grew wide and she shook her head back and forth. "No. No, it's not." She took a step closer to him as he took one back. "Clark, stop talking like this."

"Lois, the only way I can guarantee your safety is by making sure you never see me again." Clark said, not looking at her.

Lois laughed. "Clark! I have been through some of the most traumatizing things a person can go through, and I'm perfectly fine! None of it was ever your fault, so why are you saying these things?" When he didn't answer, she suddenly grew angry. She punched his arm roughly, wincing at the tingling pain in her hand. "What's wrong with you?" She demanded, her voice rising. "How can you just abandon everyone? Jimmy, Chloe… me? Do you even care?" She began to poke him in the chest with her forefinger. "You're selfish, you're infuriating, you're -"

She stopped. Clark had grabbed her hand before it could poke him again and was staring very intensely into her eyes. He couldn't take it anymore. He just couldn't. He knew he would regret it later, but he would let himself have this one last moment of humanity before leaving his past completely behind. He needed it, more than he could ever say.

Clark wrapped one arm around Lois's waist and pulled her close to him, feeling his pent-up desire take over. Lois's anger had vanished and her face now expressed something much deeper. She looked terrified and elated at the same time, her eyes filled with desire and her lips loosely parted in anticipation. She glanced at his mouth and exhaled softly, and that was all Clark could handle.

He kissed her deeply, tasting her and feeling the curve of her waist beneath his fingers. He felt her hand slide up his arm and rest on the back of his neck, pulling him closer. Their need for one another became almost animal, and Clark wanted nothing more than for this moment to last forever. He would gladly give up his strength, his speed, anything at all just to stay in this moment in time for the rest of his life. Lois brought her fingertips to his face, touching his cheek softly and breaking away to catch her breath. They were both breathing heavily now, and Clark felt his heart breaking in two as Lois's face crumpled.

"Do you care about me?" She whispered.

Clark stared back into her beautiful brown eyes. "Yes."

Lois took a fistful of his shirt in her hand while the other continued to touch his face. "Then don't go. You said you didn't want to hurt anyone anymore. If I never see you again, then that will hurt me more than you can imagine." She said fiercely. A tear rolled down her cheek. "Don't go."

Clark was torn. He felt tears of his own beginning to form and he tried to blink them away. Why were his choices always so hard, and yet the option he wanted to pick more than anything in the world was the clearest? He had never felt a pain like this before. It was worse than a thousand pieces of kryptonite because while kryptonite attacked his body, the decision to leave or stay with Lois was attacking his very heart. As he looked into her tearful eyes, something inside him burst open like a flood and he knew he couldn't make himself leave her. Not now. He would be furious with himself later, because he knew he had failed in breaking his last tie to the human world. He was a weakling, just as he had always been. But for now, these thoughts did not come, and he kissed her again with a soft moan. This time it was slow and passionate, a fire burning in both of them like nothing ever before. He placed his mouth near her ear after pulling away.

"I'll come back." He whispered. Lois's eyes fell shut at the heated tone of his voice. "I swear to you, I'll come back."

There was a rush of sudden wind, and Lois felt his presence fade. She didn't know how long she had kept her eyes shut, and when she slowly opened them her heart broke. He was gone.

_But he's coming back. He promised._ Lois reassured herself. She wiped the tears from her eyes and sighed softly. She took a few moments to revel in the passionate moments they had just shared, her skin warm with pleasure. Half of her wanted to scream and shout with joy because Clark had finally been clear on his feelings for her, and the other half wanted to cry because it was over.

But it wasn't over. Lois knew that deep down in her heart. She couldn't explain how, but she knew that what had just happened between her and Clark was far from over. Gathering herself up and taking deep breaths to calm herself, Lois stood before Chloe's home and rang the doorbell.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Lois only saw darkness, but she didn't need her eyes to know it was him.

_His large, soft hands were holding her, his fingertips lightly brushing over the sensitive curves of her face. Each slight movement felt like fire under her skin. She felt her heart thudding like a drum and she could hear her own whisper-like breaths as he sent her to a whole other world; a world where there was no pain or sadness, only pleasure. He was not connected to hurt or feelings of abandonment. He was life, he was joy, he was love._

Lois broke from her trance as Chloe snapped her fingers in front of her face, looking pleasantly curious. "Lo? Hello in there? What's up?" Chloe asked with a beam. One week of being reunited with her cousin had done wonders for her. Chloe had been overjoyed to see a disheveled but very much alive Lois standing on her doorstep that night and had barely let her out of her sight since. Of course, Lois didn't mind in the lease. She was happy to do whatever it took to keep Chloe's spirits high in her time of mourning. Jimmy's death was still fresh, but Chloe was smiling again and had begun to decrease her very large dose of antidepressants.

"Lois?" Chloe said again when she didn't respond.

"Oh, sorry," Lois said quickly, taking a large gulp of coffee. "I guess the java hasn't kicked in yet."

"Yeah, because most people don't feel the effects of three cups of Irish cream at three in the afternoon." Chloe said with a smirk.

"Not when you have _my_ tolerance for caffeine." Lois replied lightheartedly. The last thing her cousin needed was a peek into the sensual fantasies of Lois Lane, starring the infamous plaid-clad farm boy who was now MIA.

"Lois, do you honestly think I can't tell when you're lying?" Chloe asked. "Come on, what's on your mind?"

Lois paused. It was killing her to keep this to herself. Maybe he wouldn't be as sore a subject for Chloe as she thought.

"It's… Clark." She said hesitantly.

Lois had guessed wrong. Chloe's face turned stone-cold and she glared into the distance. "What about him?" She asked smoothly.

"Chlo, we don't have to -"

"No, tell me. What about him?" Chloe interrupted, her throat thick with emotion.

Lois sighed, feeling uncomfortable. "I saw him."

Chloe's gaze shot back to Lois. "What? Where? When?"

"It was the night I came back. He was the one who found me at the Planet. He brought me here." Lois said.

Chloe's eyes misted over. "He was here?" She asked softly. "He was here and he didn't even…" Her voice faded.

"He said you weren't doing well." Lois said gently.

Chloe's eyes widened. He had been watching her all this time.

"He said it was his fault." Lois continued. "About Jimmy…"

Chloe slammed her hand on the table, making Lois jump. "Lois, just forget about him!" She said, her voice raising a few octaves. "Just forget he was ever here!"

"Chloe!" Lois said, shocked. She came around to Chloe's side of the table and knelt down in front of her. "Chloe, no. Something's wrong - I could see it in his eyes. We can't just abandon him."

"He abandoned _me_…" Chloe said, tears springing to her eyes.

"Oh, Chloe…" Lois said softly, taking her hand in hers. "Clark… he's made some mistakes, but… he needs us."

"He doesn't want us." Chloe said, wiping her eyes. "He doesn't want to be saved."

Lois came around to hug Chloe, letting her words sink in. She didn't, _couldn't_ believe Chloe. She wasn't giving up on him that easily, not on Clark. Because when she thought of Clark Kent…

She thought of love.

_10:32 p.m. - Metropolis_

Deep in the heart of Metropolis, a blur was tearing through the streets. The naked human eye couldn't possibly distinguish the red and blue streaks that flew by their very faces, but the Blur was there. He was always there.

Clark had been running for hours, trying to get his mind off of Lois with very little success. Ever since she had reappeared out of thin air, she was the only thing he thought of. Forgetting her and moving away from his human ties was proving to be more difficult than he'd ever imagined. Forgetting Lois Lane was like staying away from the sun; He could only survive without it for so long until he needed that life-giving sustenance again.

He was furious with himself for letting his weak human side get the better of him. He'd become soft and vulnerable in his loneliness, and seeing Lois again after believing her to be gone forever had triggered something inside him that had been impossible to ignore… and still was.

Clark rounded a sharp corner and changed direction, heading towards the outskirts of the city. He came to a stop in the middle of a vacant field, a few miles away from where Smallville began. It was the closest he'd been to home in months. Clark briefly checked to see that the area was free from prying eyes, reaching out with his super-sensitive hearing until he heard the first sounds of human life three miles away.

Letting himself relax, Clark stared silently into the sky, wondering what to do. He had been sent her to be a savior to the people of Earth. He knew that now. He knew his purpose, and yet his life felt so empty and meaningless. He could not make himself forget so easily the life he'd given up.

Clark clenched his fists tightly. All his life, he'd had to make difficult decisions, and now he seemed to be facing the toughest one of all: Go back to being Clark Kent and risk losing more people who were important to him, or remain solely the Blur, unattached and a better hero for it. Unattached and unloved, never to speak to or be near Lois again. Wtaching her from the shadows, eavesdropping on her conversations from miles away like a lowly stalker. Seeing her move on and make her mark on the world, as he knew she would. Meeting another man who would be able to keep up with her and make her smile and laugh. Getting married and start a family with this faceless man. Clark would watch her life unfold before him, and yet he would never _be_ there. He would always be on the outside of a very thick window, looking in on the life he could've had.

Clark felt violently sick and tears sprang to his eyes as the picture in his head manifested into something much more vivid. Without realizing what he was doing, he crouched low to the ground, bending his knees as far as they would go without touching the ground. Letting out a strangled scream, he pushed off in a mighty vertical leap. The air made a sharp hissing noise in his ears as he rose higher and higher; the clouds disintegrated in his path, leaving a cold moisture on Clark's face that he could not feel. He'd never jumped so high before, but this thought did not occur to him. His anger and loneliness were too prominent for Clark to notice anything else. He became the anger; He became the pain that had been building up in his heart for the last three months. He forgot about Kal-El and the Blur and Clark Kent and simply became raw, uncontainable emotion.

It felt like hours as he shot higher and higher into the sky. He wanted to reach out and touch the stars, and he unthinkingly raised his arms out above his head. An instant later, he felt his speed decrease and he hovered for barely a second before his descent began. He fell straight down, gravity taking over. Clark twisted his body so that he was falling head-first, his arms plastered to his sides. He could make out the details of the empty field in what felt like barely a minute.

Clark closed his eyes, waiting for the crash. He knew no harm would come to him, but he didn't care. He was so tired of caring about anything when all it brought him was pain.

Suddenly, the memory of meeting Lois for the first time came to him. He could see it all like he was still there, the colors so vivid and real that he could recall the shape of every corn stalk. He could sense the very smell on the air, feel the grass beneath his feet, and he could see the Lois Lane he had met five years ago as clearly as if she were right here, falling beside him. The memory brought tears to Clark's eyes, gravity pushing them towards the corners where they disappeared in streaks behind him as he continued to fall. He thought of her smile, and it made him smile too. He remembered dancing with her at Chloe's wedding and how beautiful she had looked. He thought of finding her after being so sure he would never see her face again, and of their tender kiss, how it had made him feel lighter than air.

Clark felt the change before it happened.

A hot warmth started from the center of his chest and spread outwards like branches of a tree throughout his limbs like wildfire. It burned, but there was no pain. His fingers began to tingle, and then the sensation spread to the rest of his body as well. Clark's eyes snapped open. He was thirty feet from the ground. And then -

His vertical drop became horizontal, and he was shooting forward instead of falling like a stone. The ground flew past him and blurred from his sudden increase of speed.

It only lasted a second.

The sensations disappeared almost as quickly as they had come, and Clark hit the ground with a deafening thud. The force of the crash sent him flying across the field, bouncing across the soil like a skipping stone, rolling several times until he finally came to a stop. Clark laid where he was for a moment, shocked, but unhurt. He propped himself up, staring at the trail of skid marks left behind from his crash.

Kal-El of Krypton had just taken his first flight.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Lois was starving.

Her stomach rumbled loudly for the fourth time that morning and she fought back a groan. Her lunch break wasn't for another hour and her pantry had been painstakingly bare when she'd woken up looking for breakfast. Lois didn't fare well on an empty stomach, which was not letting her forget this little detail, and her sour mood did nothing to help. If Clark were here, he would've already brought her some sort of treat to get her through the morning rush. Some days it was a doughnut; one of those sweet, sugary maple ones she loved so much. Others, it was a bagel loaded with cinnamon and still warm from baking. When he felt _really_ generous, he brought a giant bear claw loaded with sugar and carbs and tasty goodness. Just thinking about it made her mouth water. A big, delicious bear claw, with a big, delicious Clark on the side.

She couldn't repress the sad sigh that left her lips after this thought. Lois hadn't been able to stop thinking about him for more than a few minutes at a time, and then her subconscious would slowly drift right back to that night that felt so much longer than just a week ago. She didn't want to admit it, but she missed him; more than she could say.

And yet, he could still make her so angry even when he was gone.

_He kisses me, and then he leaves. What is wrong with him?_ Lois thought to herself as she brooded at her desk. _Is it me?_ She smirked. _No, it's definitely not me… right?_ Doubt filled her mind and she began to do something no Lane should ever do - over think.

_He kissed me, and then he left. Why would he leave? Why did he look so…_ She searched for the right word picturing his face as clearly as if she was standing with him again. She remembered the look in his eyes when she'd begged him not to leave.

"Guilty." Lois said under her breath. "He looked guilty. But, why?"

Lois jumped with surprise as she felt a sudden tap on her shoulder. "Lane, I need you down at 23rd street, pronto." Lois's editor said as he circled around her desk to face her.

"Damn it, how many times have I told you not to do that to me?" Lois said irritably.

"There's a massive fire on 23rd." He said, ignoring her comment. "Get down there and cover it, and if he shows up, see if you can finally get a comment from the Blur while you're at it."

Lois scowled. "He doesn't exactly stick around for interviews."

He shrugged. "Well, then at least get the story about that fire. You might want to book it if you don't want to miss out on the excitement." As he walked away, Lois felt that familiar wave of anticipation bubble in her stomach. She grabbed her keys, pausing a moment to gaze at Clark's empty one. She felt a sudden pang of loneliness, but pushed it aside as she quickly left the building. There was no time for sappiness, not when there was a story waiting.

"Massive" didn't even begin to cover the size of this fire. Lois could feel the heat even from a block away where she had parked her car. As she rounded the corner, her mouth fell open in a gasp. Four large apartment buildings were burning in an intense and uncontrollable inferno. A crowd of nearly a hundred and fifty people were gathered around six ambulances, some being treated for smoke poisoning, others having minor wounds taken care of. Yellow police tape separated the crowd from the buildings, where three fire trucks were busy pumping what had to be hundreds of gallons of water into the flames.

Lois squinted her eyes against the heat and approached an elderly police officer who wore the badge 'Chief of Police' on his bulletproof vest.

"Excuse me, Officer, can I ask you some questions? I'm from the Planet." Lois said, flashing her ID. Without waiting for a response, she plunged forward. "What started the fire?"

"Cigarette." The officer said with a gruff, smoky voice. "Guy fell asleep while taking a smoke. Next thing you know, Metropolis has its very own hell-hole."

Lois jotted his comment down in her notepad. "How many injured?"

"Nearly everyone has had some kind of injury, but no deaths. It took too damn long to evacuate, so everyone inhaled a little too much smoke. We did a head-count and got one hundred and fifteen, not counting the thirty who weren't home at the time of the fire."

Lois scribbled all of this down and after getting the man's name, she stepped away. She silently debated on questioning one of the firefighters next, but decided to wait until the fire had become more controllable. She stood back to watch as the fire seemed to rage and scream above them. And then, icy fear hit her as her surroundings suddenly became familiar, one building in particular.

This was Clark's apartment.

Clark was nearby, hidden in the shadows as he watched the place he had lived in solitude for the last three months go up in flames. In a strange, sick way, he was glad to know that his dingy little flat was gone. He had spent too many sorrowful nights in that dark place. Thankfully, he had taken Shelby to the farm to stretch his legs before the fire had even started.

Clark scanned the area with his superhearing to check if anyone was still inside, and when he was sure everyone had made it out safely, he disappeared into the red and blue Blur he was so famous for. He circled each building using the wind from his superspeed to fan out the flames, and in a matter of seconds, all that was left were half-charred remains. He sped back to his rooftop and watched as the crowd gave a startled gasp and began to chatter wildly, some with knowing grins on their faces as they came to the conclusion that this was the Blur's work.

Clark saw Lois frantically searching the area, pulling aside random fire fighters and shouting at them with a panicky look on her face. He felt his fingers begin to tingle again and stepped further into the shadows with clenched fists. He wanted nothing more than to scoop her up in his arms and take her away with him. He wanted to touch her warm face and take in the scent that only she possessed. Just to hold her for a moment would've been enough, but yet not nearly as satisfying as it would be to hold her forever.

Clark felt his feet leave the cement underneath him, and was taken by surprise as he looked down. He was hovering barely two inches from solid ground. As soon as he felt the first hint of fear, the sensations in his body disappeared and he became earthbound once more.

He scowled to himself, cursing under his breath. He'd been up all night trying to take flight again after that very first accidental burst of gliding or flying or whatever the hell had happened to him last night, but had very little success. He hadn't managed to get off the ground at all until just now, and he hadn't even been trying. Supposedly all Kryptonians were born with this ability, but why was it so hard for him in particular? It was all so random, and if he didn't know how to control it, how would he learn?

_Please, please tell me if there's a Clark Kent on that list._ Clark's superhearing tuned in to Lois's frantic pleas, and he focused his attention back to the scene before him.

_I'm sorry miss, but no one by that name has even registered as a resident in any of these apartments. There aren't any records.  
_  
_But, I was just here last week, I saw his room, I know he lives here!_ Lois said angrily.

_I'm sorry, Miss, but I don't have the answers you're looking for.  
_  
Clark tuned out, stepping forward slightly from behind a corner of the building. He saw Lois standing to the side, looking very scared and alone. The pang in his heart resounded throughout his chest and he quickly turned away again. He never wanted to hurt her, but it seemed like that was all he ever did. He'd promised to come back to her, but he knew it was a promise he might not be able to keep.

He turned away with tears in his eyes, and blinking angrily, he disappeared in a red-blue blur.

_11:01p.m. - Daily Planet_

Lois switched off her computer and sighed deeply as she wrapped her jacket around herself. It had taken her an ungodly four hours to write the story about the fire, and it wasn't writers block that had gotten in the way. She'd asked every tenant of the four apartments if they knew of a Clark Kent living there, but no one had ever heard of him; not even the man who Lois was sure had lived next door to his apartment.

_"No, sorry lady, never heard of him. The only guy who ever lived in that place was a guy named Cal, 'cept I think he spelled it kinda weird. Never knew much about him. Didn't like to socialize."  
_  
How could no one know him? Lois was absolutely sure that this was his apartment, even though there weren't any records of his rent and the fact that his own landlord had given her a blank stare when asked about Clark Kent. She'd come back to the Planet in a haze of confusion and worry, fearing the two worst possible scenarios - either she was losing her mind, or Clark was…

Needless to say, Lois was panicking.

She walked quickly towards home, wrapping her arms around herself as she shivered. It was a cold night, and she mentally scolded herself for wearing a skirt today. It was pitch black out, with only little pinpricks of light coming from the street lamps above. The wind whistled eerily, and Lois tried to ignore the chill it sent down her spine. She should've waited for a cab, but even the streets were empty tonight.

Lois heard laughter behind her, and she glanced over her shoulder. A group of three men were on the opposite side of the street about thirty yards away. They were all whispering.

Lois began to walk a little faster, really wishing a bus or something would show up right about now. Mugging was common in Metropolis streets, but tonight she just wasn't in the mood.

After another block, Lois stole another glance at her followers. They were now on her side of the street. She could hear the rustling of their leather jackets and caught a few random words. They were watching her.

Lois felt her heartbeat thudding against her chest and she quickly glanced around, looking for a safe haven. There was nothing - just skyscrapers and apartments.

_Calm down, Lois. Just keep walking. It's only a few more blocks._

They were on her before she knew they had caught up.

Two of them grabbed her from behind, shoving her to the ground as another pinned her. Gritting her teeth with rage, Lois kicked with the heel of her shoe into his groin, catching the others by surprise long enough for her to give the one on her left a hefty uppercut and the one on her right a full-on blow to his nose, blood pouring down his face. She leapt from the ground and went after the first man again, but he dodged her punches easily.

"Well, well, well, looks like we got ourselves a little fireball," He grinned, licking his lips.

Lois faked left, and then met his face with her fist, sending him backpedaling.

"You're messing with the wrong girl tonight." Lois seethed. The second man was coming back, and she elbowed him in the gut before swinging her fist backwards to connect with his eye. He groaned, but didn't go down.

The third one was holding his broken nose with one hand and swung with the other, nearly catching Lois's face, but she dodged just in time. She kicked him squarely in the chest, and he flew onto his back cursing like a sailor.

The other two were circling her. "Come on now, kitten. Time to stop playtime. We have plans for you."

"No one tells _me_ what to do," Lois said, and she went wild. Left and right hooks knocked the second guy back far enough to leave his leader wide open, and she went in for the kill. Clenching both fists together, she swung like a baseball bat and hit him with a satisfying crunch. As he fell backwards, she kicked him in the chest for extra momentum. He landed on a few stray trashcans, but didn't stay down like she thought he would. In an instant, he was back on his feet in a rage that was almost animal.

"You're not worth it." He seethed, spittle forming at the corner of his mouth. "And now I'm gonna make you pay."

Without realizing it, one of the other two henchmen had snuck up behind her and took a fistful of hair, pulling back sharply. Lois gasped with shock and felt something being poured down her throat, making her gag and choke for air. It burned as it hit her stomach, and she felt like she could be sick. Suddenly, her arms and legs lost all feeling, as did the rest of her body. She couldn't move a muscle.

"Don't worry, it only lasts two and a half minutes." The leader of the group said, looming over her petrified body. "But that'll be plenty of time."

Clark looked over the city miles away, breathing in the cold, fresh air and listening intently for the sounds of cries for help. He closed his eyes and listened for Chloe… she was home, cooking something on the stove and humming to herself. He listened to see if anyone else was with her, but there were no other sounds.

Odd… Lois should've left the Planet by now.

He listened closer, searching the city for her heartbeat. It took a moment to filter through the rest of the garble, but then he found it. It was beating faster than he'd ever heard it before. Perplexed, he listened for voices around her.

_Damn, this one put up one hell of a fight.  
_  
_How many more, Travis?  
_  
_We're almost at the top. Thirty stories, and no witnesses. This ***** needs to learn a lesson. Here - I see the door_.

Clark heard the quick footsteps, the opening of a creaky door, the wind whistling from the top of a building. Rough laughter… and Lois's quick heartbeat.

_Lois._

In a panic, Clark was gone. He lost her heartbeat for a split second as his terror started to rise, and wasted precious seconds trying to find it again. He was gasping for breath, feeling more scared than he could ever remember, and then he heard it again. He pinpointed her location and the Blur ran.

He appeared at the top of the building a millisecond later. The three thugs were lifting Lois off the ground.

"Let her go!" He yelled, catching all four of them by surprise. Lois's head rolled to face him and her eyes widened.

"C…"

"Alright, come and get her, hick." Travis said, advancing on Clark.

Suddenly, Clark felt sickness come over him and he fell to the ground. All three of the men were wearing tiny green rings on their right hand - kryptonite.

Travis stopped, narrowing his eyes at the fallen man in front of him. He shrugged to his friends. "That was easy." They all snickered.

His face grew serious again. "Do it."

Lois was beginning to regain feeling in her limbs, but not enough for her to do more than twitch her fingertips weakly. The two men hoisted her up and leaned over the edge of the building. It was a long, long drop.

Clark's eyes widened as they met Lois's, and he saw a tear drip down her face as she looked at him. And then, she was gone.

"NO!"

The pain was terrible - he knew the effects of kryptonite well, but seeing Lois drop to her death was much, much more painful than a green rock could ever be. He rose to his feet and ran to the edge, moving no faster than a normal, human man, and dived.

He was far from the kryptonite in seconds, and his strength returned as the sickness faded away. Lois was nearly ten feet away from him, even with his outstretched arms reaching for her. He could see the stream of tears running down her face and individual droplets whisked into the wind as she gazed at him in a way he knew was meant only for him.

Lois knew this was the end. She and Clark would fall to their deaths, and she would never get to experience the joys of life again. Chloe would be devastated, the General, Lucy, Mrs. Kent; she would never see them again. She felt like she was falling in slow motion as she gazed at Clark. He looked like an angel coming to save her. She could almost see his wings. Her heart broke as she saw the determination in his eyes. She would never have the chance to tell him how she felt, the chance to see what they could've been, had this night turned out differently. More than anything, she wanted to be in his arms one more time before death took them.

Her strength had returned enough for her to force her mouth to move, to make a few little syllables come from the deepest part of who she was. She knew he would never hear her, but at least she had finally said it.

But Clark did hear. He saw her lips move, and he listened closely.

_"I love you…"  
_  
His entire body shuddered violently, the tingling sensations shot through his veins, he felt power coursing through every inch of every part of him, he felt… like he could fly.

He shot forward towards Lois and scooped her into his arms. Holding her tightly to him, he raised from the vertical drop and was shooting straight into the heart of the city. He didn't feel fear, because how could he be afraid when the very best part of him was so close? He dodged buildings and slowly rose higher into the sky until he was far above the city. His movements were effortless, like he had been flying since birth. It was the most natural, the most _wonderful_thing he had ever experienced.

Lois's arms had looped around his neck and she was gripping him tightly, gasping for air that wouldn't make it into her lungs. She was afraid, but not of Clark. She was afraid of the speed and the height and the sheer craziness that Clark Kent was _flying_. And then, she put it all together.

The disappearances. The stupid excuses. The whole hero complex he seemed to have. The way he was always there at the right place at the right time. The flying.

She turned her head to look at him, and their eyes met. Clark slowed down a little and kept his gaze fixed on her. Words didn't seem to be necessary right now. Lois raised cold fingers to touch his cheek and she felt so much warmth and love that she felt she could cry, because she somehow knew it was all for her.

Clark took her hand and held her tighter, letting their gaze hold for one more moment before shooting forward once more.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The Kent farm was in sight about ten minutes later. Clark abruptly realized that he had no idea how to land, much less land with a passenger in his arms. His body seemed to react to his hesitancy, and when he went to start his landing, he found that he could do little more than hover a few yards from the ground. It seemed that the more he tried to over-think flying, the harder it became. Flying was something he had to _feel_, not think. He tried a different approach, simply telling himself that he wanted to land. Sure enough, he began to slowly descend. Lois patiently waited for him to work through the struggle, her head leaning against his shoulder. Her heartbeat was still quick, but it had slowed down significantly in the minutes that had passed. He supposed that was a good sign, but she had been quiet the entire flight, and a silent Lois Lane should never be taken lightly.

As his feet touched solid ground, Clark bent over to gently set Lois down. Her arms lingered around his neck for a moment before they slowly slid to rest on his massive biceps. Clark stood very still, his hands plastered to his sides and his eyes downcast. He knew what was coming - the yelling, the accusations, the anger Lois was sure to let loose on him. Clark braced himself, waiting for her outburst.

Lois was quiet for the longest time. Her hands still rested lightly on his arms; the smallest pressure ever possibly felt. Clark didn't dare raise his eyes.

"You're the Blur." Lois said softly. It was a statement, not a question. She could've just told him that the weather was nice today.

"Yes." Clark replied. A large weight immediately lifted off his chest as he said that one small word. The truth… how good it felt to tell the truth for once. He glanced at her face, but couldn't tell what she was thinking.

Another period of silence, Lois's eyes searching for Clark's. He refused to look at her. Gently, she took his warm hand in hers and began to lead him to the loft. Their heavy footsteps on the stairs were the only sounds in the night. She let him go when they reached the top and went to stand by the open window, her back facing him.

"All those phone calls from the Blur - that was you." She said softly to herself. "When I've been hanging onto a thread for my life, it was you who saved me." She turned to him, her face tender. "All those times you disappeared, or showed up at the right moment out of nowhere… it wasn't a coincidence. It was _you_ who kept everyone safe."

Clark didn't respond, and Lois went to him with soft steps.

"And you aren't meteor infected… are you?" It was the first real question she had asked.

Clark knew he could lie right now, say yes, he was, and his secret would stay safe… but that was the easy way out, and he'd never wanted to tell the truth more than in that moment. If anyone on Earth deserved to know about him, it was Lois Lane. He knew he was taking a huge risk, but something felt so right about this decision that he knew he would make it no matter what odds were against him. Lois was worth the risk.

"No, I'm not." Clark said, fully meeting her gaze for the first time. "I'm something much different."

Lois took another step closer, putting one hand to rest on his cheek. Clark leaned into her touch as she looked into his eyes, seeing the pain and sadness that dwelled in them.

"You look so lonely." Lois said. "I can't even recognize you anymore." The warmth of her hand and the tenderness of her words were filling Clark with emotion.

"You can trust me." Lois whispered. "Please…" It was the saddest little plea, and it broke Clark's heart. He nodded his head and pulled her into an embrace, feeling her body curve into his. He kissed the sensitive skin below her ear and felt the breath of her sigh of pleasure against his neck. Clark gently led her to the couch where they sat side by side, their knees touching. Their hands remained joined, neither wanting to let go.

Clark began where his story always begins… in a far-off galaxy not yet known to man, on a small planet called Krypton.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

_12:07 a.m._

Clark finished half an hour later. He'd covered quite a bit of content, for once he'd begun to speak, he found that he couldn't stop. It was like the words wanted to escape faster than his mouth could form them and he couldn't make himself hold back anymore. He had to tell her everything... and it felt so right.

He told her about Krypton first; the place responsible for his very existence, and everything he had learned about his parents and the day they sent him to Earth. He told her how Jonathon and Martha Kent had found him in a field after the famous meteor shower and took him home. He told her how he had always thought he was different, a freak, and he told her of the day when they finally showed him his spaceship and revealed the reason behind his strange abilities when he was fourteen. He told her of the meteors, kryptonite, but then remembered that she'd already had more than enough experience with them during her time in Smallville.

He told her about his abilities next; how he was stronger than any man alive and how he could see through solid objects; how he could shoot fire from his eyes and hear a car horn from miles away, and how he could run faster than a speeding bullet. He told her that he had only just learned how to fly, although he did not tell her that she was the one who had helped him master it.

He told her about Jor-El and the Fortress, and how he had learned that he'd been sent to Earth to protect humanity and be a symbol of hope and justice. He told her of the training Jor-El had been putting him through, how he had left humanity behind and how it would ultimately make him a better hero. He told her about the symbol he burned into buildings and windows - how it was the symbol of his family crest, and that it reminded him he was not human and that his destiny was greater than that of a normal man. He wore it so he would not forget who he was.

Clark told Lois all this and more. And all throughout his speech, Lois said not one word. She listened as attentively as if she were to be quizzed at the end of his lecture. She hardly so much as blinked, but her hand never left his. Finally, when he had finished, a long silence enveloped them. Minutes passed, and she said nothing. In all his life, Clark had never heard Lois so silent - even in her sleep, she still mumbled about something or another.

After almost ten minutes of silence had passed, Clark slipped his hand from hers and slowly stood up from the couch. Lois jumped slightly; she had been in a trance, trying to process. Her palm felt cold without his to cover it.

"Lois," Clark said softly. "I know this is a lot to take in. I know that… that you may be looking at me differently now. I just want you to know that it's ok if you do. I can leave the Planet, change jobs, change cities even. I don't want you to be uncomfortable around me. I don't want you to be afraid of me." He said, a lump forming in his throat. Telling Lois it was ok if he never had to see her again was the biggest lie he had ever told.

He tried to swallow the pain. "The guest room is always open to you, and you're welcome to stay in the house tonight. It's a little colder up here, but I've never minded temperature too much." When she stared up at him blankly, he nodded. "I'll wait inside the house when you're ready." And with that parting note, he tore his gaze from her deep brown eyes and went down the stairs of the loft - normal speed.

Clark stepped into the cold night air and shut the barn door behind him. The gravel crunched under his feet as he made his way towards the house, very unsure of how he was supposed to be feeling right now. One thing he was sure of though; with every minute that passed, he knew it would be harder and harder to resist her. By the end of the night, he knew it would be near impossible for him to follow through on his word and leave if she told him to. The very thought shattered his heart.

He shed his jacket as he entered the house, laying it on the railing of the stairs with a soft sigh. It was out of his hands now. He would just have to wait until Lois finished processing. It was going to be a long night.

He was halfway to the living room when the front door burst open and hit the wall behind it with a loud bang. He turned around to see Lois, who was wearing an expression of absolute hurt on her face. He couldn't think as she walked towards him, couldn't think of anything at all except that she had never been more beautiful to him than at this moment, even when her face showed all signs of pain and grief. His tongue felt thick in his mouth as he watched her coming closer and closer, and it was physically painful not to be able to touch her now.

Lois was breathing heavily, but she tried not to let it show and she gathered herself the best she could. "You said that leaving would make you a better hero… how, Clark?" She said, her voice cracking slightly.

Clark's eyes fell for a moment before he had the strength to look her in the eye. "Being so attached to humans… it makes me weak, Lois. It causes me to go against the decisions that are best for humanity. My human emotions are what causes people to get hurt - people I care about." He took half a step backwards, his heart aching. "It's better for me to disappear. Everyone is better… safer."

"No." Lois shook her head fiercely and crossed the room to him, placing her hand on his cheek. Clark let out a soft, pained noise combined with one of pure pleasure, and Lois forced him to look at her.

"Safer… is not always better." She said. "What good is it to live life without the people you love in it? You can stay locked up in a house all your life and never be in danger, but it won't mean anything if you're miserable. Clark," Lois placed her free hand inside his own. "You're dying. I know you told me you're strong, but you're not strong enough to win against death. Don't you understand? You need people. You need your human emotions. That's what makes you who you are - not your strength, not your speed, but how you were raised. Your ability to see good in people is what makes you different." Her voice wavered. "You can't erase half of yourself."

Clark felt tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He needed to hold her so badly that it hurt.

"Lois, you'll never be safe with me." He said throatily.

Lois let out a frustrated noise. "Haven't you been listening? I don't care about being safe. I would get into trouble even if I'd never met you, that's just who I am. I stick my nose where it doesn't belong, I go the extra mile even if it means I might get hurt somewhere along the road. It's what I do!"

"Lois…" Clark said, and the break in his voice made her anger disappear in an instant. Her hand left his as she cupped his face, gently stroking his cheek with her thumb.

"What?" She whispered.

Clark's eyes grew hard as tears filled them, and he gently took her hands from his face. He stepped back, turning away from her. He'd never felt pain like this before. He felt like he was being turned inside out and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

It felt like ages before he could speak again. "You don't see it yet, but give it time, and you will. You'll look at me one day and you'll see me for what I really am - not a human, but a…" He couldn't say it. He couldn't make that word come out, and he didn't try to. His voice was gone, just like everything else that had ever meant anything to him.

Lois gazed at him, her face softening as she realized what he was trying to say. She went to him, and when he had turned to face her once more, she stared into his eyes with a burning fire.

"Do you not know me at all?" Lois asked softly. "I don't care where you came from. If I'm looking at you differently, it's not an alien that I see. I see the hero I always knew was inside you." She took another step forward, their chests almost touching.

"Clark, you may not be a human, but you are a man… and no man should be alone." Lois's eyes began to tear again. "Please, Clark, don't leave again… I need you." A soft sob escaped her. "I need you so much."

It was all over, and Clark knew it. The tears finally spilled over his eyelids and Lois's followed suit, and he finally took her in his arms and pulled her into him with a ferocity he hadn't know he was capable of. She crashed against his firm chest as both hands instantly flew to the back of his neck, pulling him to meet her lips in a desperate kiss. Everything she had learned that night, everything Clark had told her, everything she knew that was about to change, none of it mattered. Not in this moment, where lust and love were so tangible that it was impossible to discern one from the other, where the two intensities combined to form one single emotion to roam their minds and bodies without reign, and ultimately release their doubts, fears, and inhibitions.

The delicious feeling of pure, unadulterated need.

Clark backed her against the wall, knocking a picture off in the process but hardly caring. Lois gasped and her eyes shut in ecstasy as Clark dove into the crook of her neck, kissing and biting with a rough passion that made her knees buckle underneath her. She flattened her palms against the wall in an attempt to support herself and arched her neck to give Clark a wider range of skin. She felt him lift one of her legs up to his hip, where he held it with a gentleness that was the complete opposite of his attacking mouth. Lois's skirt shifted to reveal more of her bare leg, and her skin tingled with anticipation as his soft fingers slid down to new territory.

Lois moaned softly, almost too softly to be heard by the human ear, but Clark heard it loud and clear. He could feel himself growing hard beneath his jeans, and the ache made him feel more alive than he'd felt in months. He effortlessly lifted Lois into the air, her chest colliding with his as she wrapped both legs around his waist and met his eyes with a fiery gaze.

"I want you, Clark." She said lowly, swallowing quick breaths of air. "I want all of you."

Clark headed for the stairs as Lois clutched his neck, her soft gasps fueling him to go faster. When he came to the bedroom, Lois stared into Clark's eyes while reaching behind her to grab the doorknob. It clicked and squeaked quietly as she pushed it all the way open, grinning at him. She unhooked her legs from his waist and he slowly set her feet back on the ground.

They held their gaze, both of them catching their breath, neither of them sure if this was all just a dream. Clark put his fingertips to Lois's cheek, needing to feel her skin. God, all those months of believing her to be dead, believing he would never get the chance to touch her like this. All the miserable nights and the waves of unbearable depression that had left him wishing to die, to no longer feel anything anymore - because without Lois Lane, what was the use of feeling?

"Clark?" Lois whispered.

He gently buried his large hands into the roots of her hair, causing her to shut her eyes with pleasure. He felt a soft tugging and looked down to see her hands pulling at the hem of his shirt. He abandoned her hair and let her work the tee the rest of the way off his broad chest and over his shoulders, letting the material drop to their feet and exposing his bare torso.

Lois couldn't help it. She ran her fingers over his stomach and shuddered, feeling the taut muscles respond to her touch. She could feel Clark's gaze on her and as she looked up, her head grew dizzy with the look of longing he gave her. Suddenly, Lois knew why her past relationships had never worked. Every breakup, every wrong guy she'd gone through was so she could find her way to him - Clark Kent. It was, and always would be Clark.

She stood on her toes, dusting his neck and collar bone with her soft kisses as she worked her way towards his lips. It was then that she felt the buttons of her shirt parting open and Clark's fingers make contact with her warm, newly uncovered skin. They began to move faster as Lois shrugged off her blouse and slipped her arms out of the sleeves. She hooked her thumbs into the belt loops of his jeans and pulled him with her as she backed up to the bed. When her legs hit the mattress, Lois stopped and reached for the button and zipper as Clark wrapped his arms around her lower back. Her heart beat faster as she felt his hardness through the fabric. She pulled the zipper down and yanked the jeans to his knees, letting him step out of them and kick them aside to the growing pile of clothes.

Now it was Clark who fumbled with Lois's zipper, but managed to loosen it and watched the skirt slide down her legs, leaving her only in her underwear and bra. Lois bit her bottom lip seductively and pulled him onto the bed where she slid underneath his looming figure. Clark straddled her waist as both knees rested on the bed and gently lifted her back and unlatched the clasp of her bra, pulling it up and over her shoulders in one quick movement. He gazed at her exposed breasts with lust in his eyes and quickly lowered his head to take the left in his mouth. Lois gasped loudly at the unexpected action and moaned, clutching his shoulders as he sucked.

"Oh, God, Clark -" She reached for his boxers and managed to slid them off with her feet. Clark switched breasts as he kicked his boxers away and gave it the same amount of attention. Lois's cries of pleasure were too sexy to stop, but he knew he wouldn't be able to hold off for much longer.

He pulled his mouth away and Lois made a noise of distress, lifting her head to meet Clark's lips in a breathless kiss before letting her head fall back to meet the mattress. She was half delirious with emotion, and she knew that the best was still yet to come.

Clark slipped his fingers underneath her panties and pulled them off, their quick breaths the only sounds in the room. Clark paused a moment before meeting Lois's eyes in an intense gaze before kissing her forehead, her lips, her throat, working his way down her chest and stomach before stopping just above her soft triangle of hair. He kissed her so gently, his warm breath barely brushing her skin that Lois had to bite her lip from crying out.

"Clark…" She whispered, the tingle in her abdomen starting to grow.

Clark slid back above her, his forehead lightly resting on hers. As Lois looked into his eyes, she saw something other than the lust and the love she knew he had for her - she saw terror.

"You're trembling…" Lois said as she touched his face.

"Lois, you have to do something for me." Clark said lowly.

"Anything."

"You have to tell me if it hurts too badly. Promise me you'll tell me to stop if it hurts too much." He pleaded with her, feeling more scared than he could remember feeling in a long time.

Lois nodded, touched, and pulled his head to meet hers, kissing him gently. "I promise." And then came the words Clark would never forget for the rest of his life.

"I love you, Clark. Show me you love me too."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

It took Clark a moment to process what Lois had just said. He could only stare at her in wonder as she lay beneath him looking so beautiful it almost hurt. Her eyes were shining with the truth of her words, and Clark was terrified that any moment now he would wake up from what had to be a dream. _I love you_. Three such tiny words, yet they meant everything to him. He'd been lost for so long, missing her so much that he'd forgotten what being loved felt like. God, how he needed her.

He drew a hand to her face and touched the silky warmth of her skin, letting his fingertips graze her cheeks with whisper-like touches. Lois's pulse was a dull ache in her veins, each one building in intensity as her eyes locked with Clark's. He fought the emotion in his throat, but the attempt was abandoned with one look into her chocolate brown eyes. Without thinking, he let one hand drift down her face and gently touched her lips with his fingertips.

"Say it again." Clark said in a very low, slightly pleading tone.

Lois felt her heart break as she heard his pain and loneliness through that one small sentence. Seeing this incredible man who was stronger than any other being in the universe, who had a heart that loved like a hundred and yet was still so empty of the love of another evoked a sympathy so deep inside of her that Lois could've cried.

Lois buried a hand deep into his hair and watched his half-lidded eyes glaze over. "I love you…" She murmured against his skin. She saw the oh-so-familiar light come back into his eyes and wit her free hand, she gently held his which touched her lips and kissed his fingertips with light brushes and soft bites.

"I…love…you…"

With that, Clark could no longer contain himself. Pulling his hand away and stealing one more steamy kiss, he pried her legs open and was immensely pleased when Lois took his hint, opening herself up to him.

Clark guided himself into her slowly and smoothly. He watched with fascination as Lois took a sharp intake of breath and held it within her lungs. Her eyes shut and her mouth languidly fell open as he went deeper, exhaling her pent-up breath in a loud cry. Clark immediately began to withdraw, fearing he had hurt her, but Lois quickly wrapped one leg around the small of his back.

"No, don't," She panted, clutching his arms for dear life with her tiny hands. "It doesn't hurt, please - I need you -" She pulled him to her and kissed him deeply, moaning as she tasted him on her lips. Clark laid her back against the bed and pried her arms from him. He raised her hands above her head, pinning her wrists with one of his own and pulled away from her intoxicating kiss. With one slow thrust, he filled her with himself and almost lost it as Lois made a sound between a gasp and a moan that was too erotic for him to describe. Lois fought to escape his hold on her, needing to touch him, but she was no match for his strength. Clark felt her try to pull and he smiled wickedly - the second real smile Lois had seen on his face since they had found each other again.

"You're not going anywhere." He murmured into her mouth, and Lois didn't know it was possible to be so turned on. She responded by lifting one foot and dragging it lightly down the back of his thigh, making him shudder. Lois heard fabric ripping and an instant later, she found her hands bound by a strip of the sheets from the bed. Lois was a girl who knew her knots, and there was no way out of this one.

With his newly freed hand, Clark touched Lois in ways he'd only dreamed of during those cold, lonely nights. He traced the curves of her waist and began to kiss his way down her neck and in the warm spot between her breasts. He gazed at her lower half, needing to taste her but so unwilling to leave. Before she could protest, Clark withdrew his swollen member and kissed the taut muscles of her lower abdomen. Lois's breaths were quick and forced, her lungs aching in her chest. She wanted him to come back to her. She wanted to feel him move inside of her.

"Cl…Clark -" Lois gasped as he brushed his lips across her silky smooth skin and took her clitoris into his mouth. He used his tongue and swirled the sensitive nub in agonizingly slow circles, alternating between sucking and thrusting gently with the tip. Lois made desperate, incoherent sounds as se fought to untie herself. She raised her locked wrists to her mouth and tried to pull apart the knot with her teeth, but it was too tight to even budge. She growled with frustration, but it only made Clark want her more.

He quickly switched tactics, stimulating her clitoris with his thumb and forefinger and licking the thin, sensitive skin of her inner thighs with his hot tongue. Lois began to quiver and shake, knowing she wouldn't be able to last much longer. The ache in her belly began to pound with her desire and the world was starting to fade in and out.

"Clark!" Lois screamed, panting and gasping for air that would not make it into her lungs. Clark ripped the fabric binding her wrists together and gathered her body in his arms, lifting her back from the bed's surface and holding her tightly against his chest. Lois's arms locked around Clark's back and she clung to him, lifting her body against his and sliding his impossibly hard cock inside her. She cried out in a half moan, half gasp as she hit her peak and straddled his torso as they began to move together. Her fingers dug into Clark's shoulders and he held her, their eyes locked. Clark's mouth twitched and he gasped suddenly as he came, following Lois as they rode wave after wave. He whispered soothing sounds in her ear, murmuring his love for her and how much he needed her. Lois let her hands wander across his chest, kissing his neck, his lips, his collarbone as she let his words wash over her. She was delirious with the love she felt for him, and she held him tightly as his warm tears dripped down her back.

Finally, Lois let out one last, shuddering sigh and went limp. She placed an open kiss on his sticky shoulder before laying her head down, breathing deeply. They stayed in silence for a few minutes, Clark gently brushing Lois's damp hair off her back and twirling the stray strands in his fingers. He placed a long kiss on the back of her neck, letting his tongue run across the saltiness of her skin and feeling her shudder with pleasure as they fought to regain control over their breathing.

After what felt like ages, Lois slowly pulled away and looked into Clark's eyes. The loneliness was gone. The pain she'd seen when she'd awoken in his old, run-down apartment in Metropolis was no more. He was Clark again, her Clark, who she knew she'd been in love with for a long time now. Lois still had no idea what had happened to her for those three months when she'd been missing, and the uncertainty of not knowing was terrifying. But she felt that as long as Clark was here with her, she could face this. She would get to the bottom of her three months in limbo - but not today. Today, she would let herself be held and taken care of. They would take care of each other now.

Clark closed his eyes and let Lois's presence wash away his darkness inside. She was like the purest rainfall, taking away all the pain and suffering he'd felt when Jimmy had died and Lois had disappeared, taking a part of his soul with her. Lois Lane was and always would be the only one who could bring him from the dead and back into her light. He knew now that no matter what happened, they would find their way back to each other. He would never give up again. As he leaned in to softly kiss her, he had one final thought.

_You are my salvation._

Lois smiled against his lips and gently pulled him back down to the bed. As Clark followed, burying his hands in her hair, he felt more than saved… he was alive.

_The End_


End file.
